I'm back to Portugal!!!!
Had the craziest trip - involving not just delayed airplanes, bad weather, 15 minutes stop at Madrid and lost luggage. Oh, the humanity, or better, oh the crappy Iberia service and greed for the little 140£ that I paid for the coming and going back trip.

I discovered that my room is really, really, really huge, at least compared to my halls room




Anyway. It's Christmas time... Which reminds me that I kind of need to get some presents for people... but I always wonder what's the point of Christmas, seriously. Everybody gets more emotional and more willing to help... But for what? Because Christ was born? Sadly it seems like more an excuse to not work, spend money, consume more and buy random stuff that somehow seem to fill our empty meaningless lives.

Meh.


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I personally hated the film, as a whole, but these bits are good.

I think it's generally accepted here in the UK that if we have to deal with it being so flippin' cold/wet most of the year, we might as well have some fun fluffy white stuff to play with now and again. So yeah, snow is generally favourable :)

19 december 5:10 AM

"I have utterly no idea why I'm scared of so many things. One of them are relationships, commitment, intimacy. I have tried to give a simple straightforward explanation only to find that I really just can't.

Serious issues with trust and affection. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have much of a relationship with my father and ended up having a fairly young brother as a replacement. Or maybe because I was always the weird, misunderstood kid of the class 'til recently. Maybe because the 1st contact with love I had was something terribly wrong, paedophiliac relationship, frowned up, where I was far too young to understand and see how wrong, weird, crazy it was. Or maybe I'm just dramatic and like the attention.

But the truth is that I don't feel attached to anyone in that sense. I often choose the the anonymity of being intimate with someone I don't know at all because I can refuse their existence afterwards, make it just a dream, just another hormone operated boy. No tears afterwards. . .

But now it hit me. It's time to move on. I want the real thing. What if I had a weird past? Does that mean that I'm crippled for ever? No. For heaven's sake, no! It's time to move on, stop blaming random occurrences and try something. If rejection awaits, at least I tried.

It wouldn't be worth if everything came on too easy, anyway."

something incredibly cute:

cantor eggy set!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!